Billie Eilish opens up about writing 'Everything I Wanted'

Billie Eilish has opened up about writing ‘Everything I Wanted’, saying the song caused a “big argument” between her and her brother Finneas.

The single, which was released last year, was written after Eilish had a dream in which she took her own life.

“We had this big argument,” she told The Times. “Because I admitted something that I was, uh… It wasn’t a physical thing I was admitting. I don’t know how to put it without actually saying it and I don’t want to actually say it. But it was me admitting to something that was very serious about my depression. A very serious step that I was admitting that I was planning on taking.”

She continued to say that Finneas had ended up saying he didn’t want to write the song because of its subject matter and that he and their parents were “insanely concerned”.

Finneas explained that the idea of writing the song made him “feel like an enabler”. “Like the musical equivalent of giving an alcoholic another beer: ‘I’m not going to support this’,” he said. “A lot of songs are written in retrospect, but this one felt like it was being written in real-time, and I was like: ‘This is something we’ve got to write on the other side of this hill. We have to go through this in real life. You can’t always solve your problems in a song.’”

Eilish convinced her brother and her parents by telling them writing ‘Everything I Wanted’ was “the way I can feel those things without doing something to myself.” The siblings also changed the song to be more about each other.

“We had a complete block and the way we got through it was to make it about us as siblings and what we mean to each other,” she said.

Elsewhere, Eilish recently appeared on the Telekom Electronic Beats podcast and shared how she was coping with self-isolation during the coronavirus pandemic. “I’ve been really enjoying being alone,” she said. “I feel like everybody on the Internet has been on FaceTime all day long with their friends.

“I’ve been really enjoying being alone. I feel like everybody on the Internet has been on FaceTime all day long with their friends.”