Charli XCX says she's "been in quite a fragile state" since releasing her lockdown album
Charli XCX has told her fans that she’s “been in quite a fragile state” since releasing her lockdown album ‘How I’m Feeling Now’.
Written and record during the coronavirus-enforced lockdown, ‘How I’m Feeling Now’ was released last Friday (May 15) and is the follow-up to 2019’s ‘Charli’.
Charli opened up to her fans yesterday (May 20) in a candid Instagram post about her mental health in which she revealed that she’d “been in quite a fragile state” since dropping ‘How I’m Feeling Now’.
“I suppose I was so caught up in making and releasing this album, a process that more often than not takes months, sometimes years to complete, that I really ignored my mental health and emotional needs,” she said. “Ignored is maybe not the right word, perhaps pushed aside is a better phrase.
“I was so focused on pushing myself, finishing my work and distracting myself from the actuality of the current state of the world that now I’ve come out the other side I feel very lost, overwhelmed and fragile.”
Charli continued by saying that she seems “unable to cope with even the most minuscule tasks without crumbling into panic or tears”, adding that she “constantly doubt[s] myself and my purpose”.
“I think it’s hit me so hard at this point in time because I have just let go of this body of work that was created in such an intense and emotional way, more so than anything I’ve ever made before,” she wrote. “I feel like I’m left staring out into the abyss thinking, what was the point? Do enough people care? Why do I always want more?
“Somehow, after a soaring high, I always seem to end up in an excruciatingly low place – this is something i’m really trying to work on.”
Charli said she was updating her fans on how she was doing because “I want to be open and honest with you and I want to let you know that if you’re feeling emotionally volatile or a bit lost and confused right now – it’s OK”.
“It happens to everyone and you should not feel weak or guilty or wrong, and you should definitely not start comparing yourself to others,” she wrote. “I’ve done all of the above, when really all I needed to do was forgive myself and take a day to be calm and breathe and relax: that’s what I’m doing today.
“Call your friends, read a book, open the window, watch your favourite film, eat yummy food, dance around, do what you want – just don’t put pressure on yourself. This process has brought me closer to you guys than ever before, and it’s also begun to show me the importance of really listening to myself and my needs without letting guilt get the better of me. I am extremely grateful for both of these things.”
Last week, Charli spoke about living with anxiety during the lockdown in an interview with Apple Music’s Zane Lowe.
