Welcome to r/decaf, the Anti-Caffeine Subreddit Where No Coffee Is a Religion
“Caffeinated society is a battlefield where everyone loses,” reads the headline on one of the most recent posts on r/decaf, a subreddit for those who have recently weaned themselves off their daily coffee habit. In the post, the author, who goes by u/fuhgg_, outlines how quitting caffeine is “a hero’s journey” and how those who embark on the process “should feel proud for every minute that you have suffered for this goal.” “Calm salute comrades,” it concludes.
The tone of the post is earnest, sweeping, and dramatic — very consistent with that of r/decaf in general, a subreddit with more than 40,000 members who have all embarked on the quest to give up caffeine. The testimonies on r/decaf paint an optimistic portrait of a caffeine-free existence, with users claiming that abstaining from caffeine, while arduous in terms of dealing with withdrawal symptoms, has cured everything from their acne to depression to insomnia to digestive issues to PMS to general existential angst. (This is not an exaggeration: “I just wanted to put this out there, in case anyone has quit caffeine but is struggling with productivity or lack of motivation: It’s not withdrawal,” says one Redditor who claims to have spent a year and a half without caffeine. “You’re a spiritual creature in a cold, mechanical system, and now there’s no hiding.”)
On r/decaf, redditors discuss coffee in the language of substance abuse and withdrawal, using terms such as “junkie” to describe habitual users, “relapse” to describe caffeine use after a period of abstinence; and “cold turkey” to describe quitting without tapering off or weaning beforehand. They often post inspirational memes to encourage people to continue on the journey toward a blissfully caffeine-free life. “Good sleep, healthy food, talking to family and friends,” says the caption of one meme showing Drake in tie Hotline Bling video, putting his hand up against his face; another screengrab from the same video, showing Drake looking at the camera approvingly, says “Drinking 5 Monster just to feel something.” The language on r/decaf struck one observer to remark that the forum is “almost exactly like r/nofap,” the notoriously evangelist anti-masturbation community on Reddit.
In some respects, such rhetoric, while it may seem extreme to the casual observer, isn’t far off from the truth: Caffeine, which is a naturally occurring chemical, is technically classified as a drug, due to its stimulant effects on the brain’s central nervous system. As such, it is often referred to as the world’s most popular legal drug, with one study estimating that nearly 90 percent of American adults consume caffeine in some form on a daily basis. And like a drug, caffeine withdrawal is notoriously arduous, producing symptoms such as headaches, nausea, and a sense of general malaise.
Despite this, however, caffeine addiction is not widely considered to be a legitimate diagnosis, as it is not listed in the DSM (though some researchers have lobbied for it to be included, according to a recent Esquire piece on the subreddit). Indeed, the FDA has determined that as long as you keep your daily consumption under 400 mg (equivalent to about four cups of coffee), a minor Starbucks hazelnut frappe addiction does not pose significant health issues, according to Dr. Katrine Wallace, epidemiologist and adjunct assistant professor at the School of Public Health in University of Chicago at Illinois.
Wallace refers to the all-or-nothing approach toward caffeine on subreddits like r/decaf as “wild.” “From an epidemiological perspective – this definitely comes down to moderation,” she tells Rolling Stone. “Anything consumed in excess can cause harm, even water. Caffeine, while naturally occurring, is a central nervous system stimulant. If someone drinks too much they can definitely experience high heart rate, insomnia, anxiety, headaches, GI issues, etc. The amount that is OK to ingest is individual to each person [can vary by body weight, medications you may take, and individual sensitivity, etc].” She also points out that when used in moderation, there are even health benefits that accompany regular caffeine use, including lowering the risk of type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease.
But even though moderation is, generally speaking, a pretty good rule of thumb when it comes to most substances, don’t tell that to the good users of r/decaf, who are getting high off the bliss that comes with being coffee- and Red Bull-free.
“Once you’re aware of what caffeine is doing to your body, you [can’t] just sip your five espressos a day and brush off your stress and anxiety and insomnia and bad digestion and joint problems,” says one post from five months ago, titled “Once you take the red pill you can’t go back.” “[Now] you know what you’re doing to yourself. And you can keep sipping away your Red Bulls and venti lattes. But in the back of your mind, you know. And it’s only a matter of time until you come to your senses and accept how absurd and idiotic it is to continue to willingly harm yourself.” If that doesn’t convince you to sheepishly put down your third cup of the day at 4 p.m., then arguably nothing will.
